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 Fallen ... We're Ready to Die

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Nv MasterBrent
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PostSubject: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:21 am

This is a little poem I wrote for my 9th grade Speech class.



Silence filled the room,
As the people had fled since noon.
The air was filled with dust,
As small currents of wind blew up a haze of must.

The furniture lay upturned,
As some of the fires still burned.
Pictures of the past lay on the deck,
As a pillow falls off the couch, not in check.

One small child wandered the street,
Adorned in torn, clipped socks too small for his feet.
He cried and cried a sorrowful tune,
As he now lay in the shape of a spoon.

Nine was the time that death was released,
Falling from the sky to bring about more deceased.
High was the metallic shine,
As many figures became a line.

A leaf in the wind whistled and howled,
Around the glaring moon, it now prowled.
Many would admire the site full of awe,
As the beast neared the ground, opening its maw.

Time seemed to slow,
As the world gave off a great glow.
Up and around the glow grew,
The power in the air grew anew.

As the hardest solids gave way,
The people of yesterday knew nothing of today.
Lost to the abyss,
We can only reminisce.

Buildings and landmarks disappeared in the distance,
Which is not something we can perceive in this instance.
One moment a city was there,
One moment later … the lands were bare.

Because of our struggles, a city lay engulfed in fire,
I think our actions need not be so dire.
Today, it seems, everything is solved with a gun,
But long ago, there was a state of mind that was:
“God bless us—everyone.”


I hope you enjoyed it king

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nat3han
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:34 pm

nice
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:02 pm

wow! really good!! i like it Exclamation

hehe just looking at the little icons lol!
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Roni
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:45 pm

Did you have to rhyme for the assignment? I was just wondering, because for me the couplet style rhyming distracted from the meaning a bit, and might sound better if every other line were rhymed instead. The way it was set up, it was almost as if you were trying to rhyme, and it stood out because you tried too hard.

But that could just be a matter of personal opinion. Overall, I liked it, though.
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Nv MasterBrent
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:18 pm

Yeah, It was a part of the assignment. It did hamper my meaning, but I thought it good enough to share with the delinquents in my class.


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PostSubject: Re: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:44 pm

whoa.. Its great.
The rhyming did effect it, but I just left off some of the end words when I read it.
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen ... We're Ready to Die   Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:40 am

The road that ran past our house was a one-lane rural route. Every morning, after new york escort parents had gone to work, I'd wait for the mail lady to pull up to our box. Some days I would put enough change for a few stamps into a mason jar lid and leave it in the mailbox. I hated bothering new york escorts lady with this transaction, which made her job take longer.
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